i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
