I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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