we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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