no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This house was built for laser tag.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
