i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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