Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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