break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Quick, to the slutcave!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
