do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
