Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
