So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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