ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
