I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
