I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize