This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
