I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
