it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
