singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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