I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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