Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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