my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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