So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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