I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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