the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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