I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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