this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
