There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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