They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
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he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
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Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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