In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
