This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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