if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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