didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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