I am puke
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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