Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
