She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
