Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
