Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
