On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
