Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
