how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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