Its about making memories worth repressing
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize