I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
