it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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