a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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