break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
