is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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