I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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