He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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