She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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