I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize