My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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