Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
