Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
