so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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