one might say we're banned from that church
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
