Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
