Welp...herpes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
