haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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