hotel room ftw
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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