Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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