Sry I called you an 8
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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