dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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