i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
